Choices
by dusk writer
Summary: I hadn't seen him in eight years. I just met the other. How could I be in love with both of them? I was suposed to be with Cowboy. I used Jack cause he is too under appreciated. Rated T just in case. OFFICIALLY ON HIATUS!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Okay so it's been a while since my last newsie story. I just wasn't getting any ideas. Everything I thought of was too boring and un-original. But finally I have something not-so-terrible so I hope you enjoy. PS I don't own Newsies. Damn.**

I stood underneath the small overhang from the doorway to the Manhattan Newsboy Lodging House. The rain came down in frozen sheets it seemed. Despite my best efforts I was shaking with fear and cold. What if he didn't remember me? It had been a while. Eight years to be exact. Well I would never know if I didn't go inside.

As I opened the door a crack of thunder boomed from the sky. Even though it was only five o'clock it was already pitch black out, the heavy rain clouds blocking out the sun. I tentatively put one foot inside and poked my head around the corner. I saw an elderly man sitting behind a large worn out desk reading today's newspaper. I could hear shouts and banging from a room somewhere upstairs. I took one final deep breath and pulled myself and my lone bag inside.

The man looked up from his paper, somewhat surprised at my standing in the doorway, dripping wet. I could tell this place didn't get a lot of girls sniffing around for a place to stay. My skirts, once white and clean, where spattered with mud and my golden brown curls hung limply from under my hat. I waked toward the desk and set my bag down at my feet.

"Hello, how much for a night?" I asked nervously. I could feel my face flush red.

"Five cents a night." The man replied, still looking surprised. "You know, we don't usually get girls 'round here." He continued, stating my thoughts. "What is your name sweetheart?"

I blushed furiously and tried to summon up my voice. "Uhh…its…um, Cassandra. Well, Cassie actually." I stammered out.

"Well, Cassie, good to have you. I'll go tell the boys we have a new guest."

"No!" I accidentally shouted at him. I took a breath and calmed myself down. "Um, that's okay. I'll go introduce myself."

"Well alright, but at least let me take your bag up to the girl's room. We haven't had much use for it so it's in a rough state."

I was grateful for his kindness and his understanding. It was the most kindness I'd seen in a while. I watched him pick up my bag and start towards the stairs.

"If you need anything just holler. You can call me Kloppman." He said and trudged up the creaky stairs and down a narrow hallway to the door on the furthest end of the hall. I waited until he'd gone through the door, then I untied the ribbon under my chin and took my hat off.

I walked to the stairs and started up them. I made my way to the door closest to the stairs, the only other room on the floor besides the one Kloppman had gone through. I knocked once with a trembling hand and backed up. I heard someone shout inside to another to go open the door.

About 30 seconds later the door swung open and a boy about my age, 15, stood there with a bored expression on. He had brown hair and suspenders over a pink shirt. He also wore a brown newsboys cap. He stared at me a moment and then called to one of his friends inside, whose name I recognized.

"It's for you Cowboy." He called. His face broke into a warm smile and he laughed once before he backed away from the door.

At the mention of his name my heart stopped. I couldn't believe he still went by that nickname I'd given him years ago. Cowboy. Hah! I wondered if they even knew his real name. He'd never liked it and it had been a joke at first but soon he would only answer to Cowboy.

I cursed my over-active heart silently, sure that he and all the rest of the boys in the room could hear it. I didn't even realize I was staring at him until he waved a hand in front of my face.

"Hello, are you okay?" he asked and I snapped myself out of my trance. He laughed once and it made me wonder what emotion was on my face. He turned back to the boy who'd opened the door and said "Nope, I've never seen _her_ in my life."

I knew it was now or never. I plucked up any courage I had in me and yelled to him, "Wait." I regretted saying anything because it meant I'd be giving a speech in front of all these strange boys, who all looked like they could've beaten me up.

Cowboy whipped around to look at me, the laughter in his eyes bringing me back eight years in the past. Again, I didn't realize I was staring until he said something. "What?"

"You don't remember me, do you?" I asked.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: oh snap two updates in one day. That's gotta be a record. Well I hope you liked the last chapter and **_**reviewed**_** it. Okay now to the best part, the story.**

He looked at me when I said this, like maybe he did remember. It was just a moment but I saw something cross over his face like he knew everything. Knew why I had come here and why I was looking for him. But in that instant, it was gone.

"No, no I don't remember you. Who _are _you?" he asked. The rest of the guys were snickering at me and what I was saying but I didn't care. Let them laugh; they didn't know what was going on anyway.

"Cowboy. I gave you that nickname. Maybe we could go talk somewhere?" I said, hoping that by mentioning his nickname that he would remember.

He screwed up his face in concentration and then, suddenly, his eyes grew wide and he came over to me and bent down to whisper so only I could hear, "Cassie?"

"It's me Cowboy." I whispered back.

He turned back around to the anxious faces of the rest of the boys in the bunkroom. "I'll just be a minute fellas." He said to them and he took my arm and led me downstairs. Once we got to the door he opened it and closed it again when he realized it was pouring out. He looked around, his face distant, nervous.

When he tried to pull me into another room I stopped him. "I'm not running around here all night while you dodge the fact that I'm here. Now we need to talk." I said to him, all fear and nervousness melting away. After all I had grown up with this boy, known him since I had been born. His family and mine had been long time friends. Our fathers were business partners, but their line of business didn't include suits and briefcases. More guns and cigarettes.

I was kept in the dark mostly about my fathers work. My mother figured it would be better if I didn't know. However Cowboy's father insisted he know about it. He never told me much, preferring to keep to my mother's wishes, but he told me enough so that I understood when he left. His mother knew if she didn't send him away he was in danger of slipping into our father's line of work. It broke my heart, sort of a little girl crush I guess but seeing him know brought back those feelings and memories, only intensified.

"Why are you here?" he asked me after a long silence.

"It got to be too much. Your mother was right in sending you away. Our fathers weren't doing well. They had a lot of people after them, including the bulls. My mother was prepared to send me to boarding school but I decided if I could find you, I wouldn't have to. I missed you." When I was finished tears stung my eyes. I had promised myself I wouldn't be a baby and cry.

"Our…our fathers aren't doing well?" I shook my head and he continued. "What about my mother? How is she?" he asked. He knew the answer before I even gave it.

"I'm sorry, she died last year. It all got to be more than she could handle. Losing you and then having to deal with your father on her own. I guess you could say she died of a broken heart." I told him. I swallowed hard, fighting the tears that threatened to overcome me.

"I guess I expected that. So when did you leave?" he asked me.

"Two days ago. I knew you'd gone north and I remembered when we were kids…you'd always talk about visiting the city someday. When you weren't talking about Santa Fe. I figured I could start there."

"One destination down, one to go." He said laughing slightly. "So how long are you staying?"

"I never really thought that far ahead. I guess for a while. You're the reason I left in the first place and now that I've found you it seems pointless to leave."

"Well, it doesn't matter. It's just good to see you again. Cassie, I've missed you too." He said and he pulled me into a hug. He was so much bigger than I remembered and I got lost in his large, familiar arms. It felt so good to be with him again. I finally gave up fighting and let the tears come. I could swear I felt some of his own but I couldn't be sure.

When we were done he pulled me back and looked at me. "You know, you really grew up. You look so much older know." He said.

"Well I'm fifteen now. That would make you seventeen, right?" he nodded.

"You look so…pretty. You're not the little girl I remember. The one who chased me around, always looking for stories." He smiled at the memory. "The one with a crush on me."

"I did not-"

I was cut off when he pulled me back into his iron grip again, my voice muffled against his chest. My protests quickly turned into laughter and he released me once again.

"So I see you still go by the name Cowboy." I told him.

"Sometimes. Other times its Jack. Jack Kelly." He said. I was hardly surprised. He needed to give an actual name when asked and he was too proud to give his real one.

"Well _Jack_, at least you didn't totally forget me." I said playfully. It was like we were kids again.

"Now how could I forget you?" He had such a beautiful smile. How had I never noticed before?

I looked away, embarrassed and then turned back to him and said "It's getting late. Why don't you introduce me to your friends?"

"Sure. C'mon." he led me up the stairs and into the boy's bunkroom. The boys all watched us as we walked in. Jack quickly began ticking off names and soon I was on information overload. I couldn't for the life of me put names to faces. Except for a few that were easy, like Kid Blink and Specs.

"Hi," I said timidly when Jack had finished. One of the boys in the corner, Race-something I think, came over to Jack.

"So Jacky boy, what's the story with her?" he asked.

"Uhh, Race why don't we talk in the morning?" he replied. Race shrugged and went back over to where he'd come from. "And why don't you get to bed." He said turning to face me.

"Cowboy, we ain't kids anymore. You don't have to be the protective big brother." I never really thought of him as my brother, but I figured he thought of me as a little sister. He'd always looked out for me like that.

"I don't care, your still in my domain and I have the right to tell you what to do. You have a lot to learn about the newsie way of life. Lesson one: always listen to the leader. In this case that's me."

I looked at him incredulously. He'd always been the leader type, but leader of the Manhattan newsies?

"Well ain't you moving up in the world?" I told him with a smile. He winked at me and I headed to the girl's bunkroom.


	3. Chapter 3

I woke up early the next morning and, for the record, it was not by choice. First Kloppman came up and tried to wake me up. I'd rolled over groggily, still wiped from the night before. Once he left I had about 10 minutes of silence and then I swear the building nearly came down.

I heard shouts, screams, water running, toilets flushing, and feet pounding on the floor. I figured it was pointless to try and go back to sleep, especially when Jack came in and jumped on top of me.

"C'mon Cass, get up. Time to carry the banner and sell the papes." He said shaking me.

"I'm up, I'm up." I said sitting up slowly. Cowboy sat there grinning at me, but I wasn't fully awake yet and barely noticed. "So what exactly _are_ we doing today?" I asked. "I mean, what does a newsie do?" I had an idea of what they did, they sold newspapers but I wasn't quite sure what the process was.

"Well get dressed and we'll show you." He replied with a wink. "Meet me downstairs." With that he got up and walked out the door, tying his red bandana around his neck. Now _there_ was something familiar to me.

"_Cowboy, tell me again about Santa Fe." I asked reaching down to pick a dandelion. We were standing in a field covered in the things but I still felt the need, every time we came out here, to pick one and take it home to my mama._

"_Awww Cass, you know all about it. I've told you a hundred times." He said plopping down and laying back, soaking up some of the sun's rays. He put his hands behind his head and closed his eyes._

"_Please?" I begged. It was true I'd heard it all before but I liked the way he told it. It was fun to pretend we would actually go to a place like Santa Fe someday. "Just once more?" I sat down next to him and pulled on his hand._

"_Fine," he said not even bothering to sit up. "One day, when I'm old enough, I'm gonna save up my money and take a train to Santa Fe. Then I'm gonna get a ranch there, with horses, and a huge field."_

"_And your not gonna tell your mama 'cause you don't want her to say no." I continued bouncing up and down, twirling my flower in my little hands. _

"_Yep, and then when your old enough I'm finally gonna write to mama and tell her were I am. And I'll ask her to talk to your mother so you can come live with me."_

"_And were both gonna get married and live happily ever after." I finished smiling._

"_Yeah, that too." Said Cowboy, grimacing at the thought of marrying a girl. He was only nine after all, but that still seemed to me much older than my seven years._

"_Well, I have something for you Cowboy." I said blushing._

"_Yeah, what is it?" he asked greedily, eyes flying open._

_I pulled out a bright red bandana from within the folds of my skirts. "It's a bandana, like those cowboys wear in those western movies you like so much." I said grinning. He took the bandana, smiling slightly. _

"_Thanks Cassie." He said honestly. "This is really great." He tied it around his neck and then got up. I jumped up next to him and he turned and said "race ya to the tree over there." He pointed to the oak tree in the middle of the fields and without another word, we took off running._

I took one last look in the mirror hanging over the dresser, inspecting my off white skirt and light blue, button down shirt. I ran silver my brush through my hair and tied it back with a matching blue ribbon. Probably too much for a newsie but it was the same as everything else I had with me.

I walked downstairs and saw Jack waiting. He smiled as I came down and held the door open for me. Once we were outside I turned and saw him pull something out of his pocket. Before I knew what it was he had jammed it on my head. I quickly pulled it right back off and looked at it. It was a newsboy cap and I laughed.

"What did you think it was?" he asked laughing at me.

"I don't know." We chatted, catching up as we walked to the circulation office as he said it was called. I told him about my memory of the day I gave him his bandana and he seemed to remember too. Soon we were walking up to the window were a fat man was sitting with two tall, muscular looking boys standing around him. Jack leaned over and whispered something in my ear.

"That's Weasel, the two boys are Oscar and Morris. Steer clear of them." He warned. I nodded quickly. Cowboy bought my "papes" for me while I talked with some of the other newsies.

"So you hear who's coming tonight Kid?" Mush was saying to Kid Blink.

"Yeah, I heard Spot's coming to talk to Jacky-boy. Business as usual though." Race butted in, lighting a cigar.

"Who's Spot?" I asked. I felt the color rising in my cheeks as the boys all turned to laugh at me.

"You don't know who Spot Conlon is?" Mush asked when he and the others calmed down.

"No, I haven't exactly been around long." I said annoyed.

"Spot's the leader of the Brooklyn newsies. Toughest newsies in New York. And Spot _is_ the toughest." Race replied.

"He's also got the biggest head in New York." Blink added and they all laughed again.

"Yeah Spot's coming tonight. He's also bringing a couple of his newsies along so we can have a little party tonight." Jack said walking up from behind me. He took my hand and lead me away as I tried to get in a few goodbyes.

"So is he as bad as everyone says he is?" I wondered aloud.

"No." Jack assured me waving a hand. "Only if you get on his nerves. So don't worry about it." He then launched into the dos and don'ts of selling newspapers. I have to admit I was only half listening, wondering about this boy who was supposed to be the toughest newsie in New York. _Tougher than Cowboy? It can't happen._ I thought to myself.

We walked around for the rest of the day as Jack attempted to teach me how to hawk a headline. It was harder than it looked. Let's just say, Cowboy did most of the selling.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I'm soooo sorry

**A/N: I'm soooo sorry. It's been forever since my last update but things have been crazy! My High School's musical just ended and I had homework to catch up on, competition dance pieces to learn, and Jonas Brothers concerts to attend. Yea that's right, 3****rd**** row on the floor for their WYLMITE tour. Also, my last dance competition of the year ended tonight. But enough of that…on to the new chapter.**

Me and Jack trudged into Tibby's diner at around 3 in the afternoon and I was beat. Being a newsie was defiantly harder than it looked and now I had to go back to the lodging house and clean up for this "party" we were having tonight.

"All in a day's work," was all I had gotten out of Jack when I approached him on how we were going to accomplish this all in one day. More than once today I had had thoughts of home and I was wishing we could go back to being our little seven and nine year old selves again, naively thinking we would actually move to Santa Fe one day and live happily ever after. Skipping through fields of flowers again, telling stories late into the night. I missed that. I missed us. I missed him.

It was Skittery who startled me out of my day dreams this time. I silently commended myself for remembering his name.

"You really gotta stop doing that. You just start staring off into space and it makes people nervous." He said, chewing a bite of his sandwich. The way he looked at me, with those big, brown, understanding eyes made me feel a bit better and I made a mental note to trust him with any secrets I may or may not have in the future that may or may not need telling.

"Sorry," I said smiling slightly, a little embarrassed he'd caught me day dreaming again. I felt my face turn a little pink but he laughed it off and turned back to the others at our table.

Just then the door to the diner flung open and in walked a bunch of tough looking newsies. They weren't from Manhattan, I can tell you that. Jack had assured me I had me all the Manhattan newsies and I certainly hadn't met these boys yet. They all carried sling shots and looked like they could've beaten the life out of me, had they chosen to.

As they walked by me I felt a shiver run down my spine as the leader of the pack turned to look at me. He was shorter than the rest but still just as muscular. He also wore a key around his neck and had icy blue eyes that seemed to look straight through me. Call me crazy but I wondered for a moment if he knew everything I was thinking. If he could read it all on my face.

He waltzed up to Cowboy with an arrogant saunter and it crossed my mind that these might be the Brooklyn newsies I had been told were coming later. It also hit me that the one with the icy blue eyes was very probably Spot Conlon. He was shorter than I expected but I didn't doubt for a second that he could still tear me apart.

I couldn't pull my gaze away from him, even when he looked back towards Cowboy and started to whisper to him in a hushed voice. I leaned over to Race and asked, without ever diverting my gaze from the intimidating leader, "Is that Spot?" Simple as that.

"Yea, that's him alright." He said with a low chuckle, more to himself than me. "Just as smug as ever." He finished, lighting up a new cigar. Again, he said this more to himself than to me and I wondered if I was missing something. If there was something about this intriguing boy I hadn't been told. I sensed there was.

"Why is he here now? I thought he was coming tonight." I asked him, finally breaking my line of vision. I looked at Race hard in the face as he seemed to struggle with things he knew he had to say.

"Sometimes…" he began slowly, choosing his words carefully. "Well you have to understand that Spot likes girls. He is known for having a new girl every week. They don't much matter to him, they're more like trophies. And sometimes Spot and his boys come over before these little planned get togethers to…uhh…" He trailed off and I squinted at him. There was something he was hiding from me. Something he didn't want to say. I feared it was about Jack.

"Race, what is it?" I asked suspiciously. "What aren't you telling me?" I glanced back over at Jack and Spot and they seemed to be looking over at me. Jack looked furious about something and Spot seemed smug. Too smug.

"Well, Jack didn't want you to know too much. He figured it would be better if you didn't know about what he does at night." He said still speaking carefully. My heart sank as I grasped the meaning of his words. Jack was seventeen and living on his own. It had only been a matter of time before he succumbed to the hordes of girls who had probably thrown themselves at him. Only a matter of time before he…

"Hey Cassie," Cowboy called over to me. He seemed quite unhappy about something. I had an idea of what it was. "Someone wants to…ahem…meet you." He shot Spot a dark look and then nodded slightly. Spot nodded back and turned to smirk at me. I felt the color rush to me cheeks again.

I walked over to where they were sitting across the room slowly. I fought to suppress my beating heart and the butterflies in my stomach. I felt like such a baby for being so nervous.

When I reached the table I tried to get out a "hello" but all I managed was incoherent babble. Luckily there wasn't much of it because Jack had the decency to introduce me himself.

"Spot this is an old friend of mine, Cassandra," I flinched when he gave my full name but understood why he was being so formal. He was being a tad overprotective again but this time I didn't mind so much. This Spot kid scared the living daylights out of me and I had no idea why. "Cass, this is Spot Conlon, leader of the Brooklyn newsies." I half expected a ta-da! at the end of that but none came. Spot just smirked even wider and then began to walk in a circle around me, sizing me up.

'Wh-what are you doing?" I asked, finally finding my voice. I was praying it wouldn't crack.

"Trying to see if youse is newsie material. Youse kinda look too hoity-toity to me." He said still circling me, like a predator about to pounce on its defenseless prey. I stared down at my feet and waited for the pounce.

He finally stopped in front of me and I looked up. He looked me square in the eye for a long uncomfortable moment and finally smirked again and turned back to Cowboy. I let out a sigh of relief.

"Well Jacky-boy, I'd take her off your hands for you but for reasons besides making her a newsie." I let out a confident laugh as Jack sank further into his seat. He picked up the cowboy hat tied to his neck and pulled it across his face as he leaned back and tilted his head up at the ceiling. My eyes grew wide with horror as I grasped Spot's real meaning.

Suddenly I had a moment of bravery and I snapped at Spot, "You masochistic pig!" This was not the brightest move I could have made because at that moment Spot's reared back a hand to slap me across the face.

I ducked quickly as I could but their wasn't even a breeze as his hand flew over my head. Instead I looked up to see Jack holding his arm back with a furious expression on his face. All he had to do was look at Spot and instantly his hand fell to his side.

He regained his composure and said "Sorry, that was a bit rude, just don't go calling people masochistic pigs or youse might get seriously hurt." I found the real warning in his words and decided to take this advice. I nodded quickly and mumbled an apology f my own.

It was very long afternoon at Tibby's. I found myself sitting in between Jack and Spot for the rest of the time and desperately wanted to talk to Jack, _alone._ But there was no way to do that with Spot sitting to my right. I could feel his gaze on me the entire time and I suspected there was something going on. Something Jack wasn't telling me. Something that involved me, Spot, and possibly even all of the Brooklyn and Manhattan newsies. I wasn't sure if it involved the truce between the two boroughs yet but you could be sure I'd find out.

Yes, I knew about the truce. Even thought I'd only been there a day it had been a topic of discussion this afternoon when I was selling with Jack. He'd told me all about it and how it road on his friendship with Spot. One wrong move and it could be all over. One fight and it could mean war.

I shivered at the thought but decided I would ask Jack if I was becoming a part of this truce. I knew enough to realize that what Spot wanted, he got. What if this time, what he wanted, and would be willing to go to war over, was me?


	5. Dire Author's Note

Okay so I haven't updated this in a looooooooong time

**Okay so I haven't updated this in a looooooooong time. I'm so sorry but I just don't feel it anymore. I may come back to it one day if I find my muse again, but no promises.**

**I just want to apologize to my readers who have been waiting. You've probably all abandoned it by now though. Haha! Wouldn't blame you. **

**So yeah, thanks for the support but this might not get updated for a while. **

**I apologize once more,**

**Duskwriter.**


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